Skip to main content

Feast (2005) - John Gulager


Feast is a horror movie reject piece, produced by Ben Affleck, Matt Damon, and Wes Craven through a short-lived bad idea, called Project Greenlight. The movie is a slapstick comedy/horror combo with some sort of All-Star cast. Henry Rollins, Judah Friedlander, Balthazar Getty, Duane Whitaker, and Jason Mewes are just to name a few. The movie is highly stylized and overly comedic. I think it was too much.


Bozo, Beer Guy, Hot Wheels, Edgy Cat, Tuffy, Grandma, Bartender, and Boss Man all frequent this bar out in the middle of nowhere. A few out of towners are in tonight, drinking and having fun, when a Hero and Heroine both come into the bar warning about a coming force of weird, deadly creatures. The rest of the night the group in the bar is holding up and trying to fight back against the monsters. All the while not ripping each other apart. These are all horrible people. No one that you can identify with. The Heroes are all boring and typical. 

The comedy is the problem here. This movie can't be taken seriously, even for a second. Shawn of the Dead did slapstick comedy/horror with class. This movie is really nothing but dick and fart jokes. It's dumb teenage humor that doesn't stick. It detracts from making this a good movie. If they left out the stupid jokes then this would be a solid horror submission. However, it is nothing more than an excuse to cash in on a few bucks. 

The gore is a plenty. You would almost expect it. Don't think this is a gore-porn or anything like that. Sure this movie has a ton of really disgusting scenes that just don't need to be put onto celluloid. However, they did use a lot of maggots. The action is really horrible. It made me motion sick. Just like in Transformers, I couldn't tell what was going on. I didn't know who was fighting who or what was happening. It felt like everything was so stylized and so "uber-cool" looking that the constant use of jump shots, confuses the viewers. I was. I still am. 

I say skip this one and watch something worth while. Jeepers Creepers was more entertaining than this nonsense and I didn't really like Jeepers Creepers. Check this movie out if you absolutely must. 


  • The role of Hero was offered to Mark Wahlberg, but he turned it down. Josh Duhamel was also interested but forced to drop out for scheduling conflicts.
  • One of several films that Harvey and Bob Weinstein took to their new production company, the Weinstein Co., after their separation from Miramax/Dimension Films in early 2005.
  • The original script for the film included a lot more action spots, but producers decided they had to be cut to fit the budget.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Ju-On (2000) - Takashi Shimizu

Watching Japanese horror is similar to watching British comedy. If you enjoy dry whit then you probably enjoy the boys of Monty Python in drag. That's the joke, they're dressed like women. Get it? Well, that's British humor. But if you're like most Americans you probably prefer Adam Sandler farting his way across a football field and hooking up with chicks that are way out of his league. Americans usually prefer this more in your face, crass brand of humor. My point is funny in England is different from funny in the US. The same goes for J-Horror. What the Japanese consider scary is very different from what Americans consider scary and it shows in this horror film. Japanese horror is generally slow (a little too slow sometimes), suspenseful and creepy. Ju-On is a creepy effing film. The movie has almost no soundtrack. It is incredibly suspenseful and the pay-offs are pretty awesome, but I think that it was done better in the American version (cultural t...

Le Diable au Convent (1899) - George Melies

Le Diable au Convent is longer than the two previous Georges Méliès ventures into short form horror. This particular French short shows the Devil himself running a convent and terrorizing the poor old nuns that live there. However he is finally vanquished by the good of Faith. This is yet another Méliès classic, showcasing the art work that really goes into his short film-making. This is one of the earliest examples of a horror movie that could rely on its elaborate set design and artistic design. Everything in this film, although horribly aged, has been packaged extremely well. If you are a fan of production and set design then I would highly recommend just about anything that Melies has his name on. Though nothing that is considered too extreme actually happens, Satan does have his way with a convent. The satanic imagery itself must have kept this film on the traveling carnival circuit. It certainly wouldn’t fit into the good moral bag that society shoved i...

Spookies (1986) - Genie Joseph, Thomas Doran, and Brendan Faulkner

It's impossible to get a decent movie when you take two films and just squash them together. That is essentially the story of how this movie came together. The film started as Twisted Souls. However, according to the financial backer they didn't have enough horror. So they ended up hiring another guy to come in and add a monster in virtually every scene.  This movie started out being directed by Brendan Faulkner and Thomas Doran. It basically is the tale of two sets of teenagers that arrive to a strange building surrounded by a strange cemetery. It was your usual tale of teenagers in a big hows with a few monsters. Then they brought in Genie Joseph and added even more. Like a haunted birthday party, a murderous cat-man, zombies, and an old wizard. It really became a smorgasbord of horror with a very thin plot-line leading it around. This movie is hard to summarize in a conventional way. It just packs so much.  The most interesting part of this movie are ...