Skip to main content

House of the Dead (2003) - Uwe Boll

Uwe Boll is the new Ed Wood, he has to be. No one has any idea how this guy keeps making movies, but he troops on. Pumping out crap fests like Alone in the Dark, Dungeon Siege, and of course House of the Dead. The latter is what we just watched and i am going to have to say, I loved it. This really is a terrible movie, but its great to invite a few friends over and really have fun drinking and making fun of it, ala mst3k.

The film is a Zombie horror movie starring a bunch of nobodies and Erica Durance, who would later go on to play Lois Lane in Smallville. What we have here is a bunch of 20 somethings that are on their way to a rave on a remote island, they hire a seedy sea captain named Kirk, to transport them. When they get to the island however, well, i cant ruin it for you but let me tell you... its hilarious.

So there are a ton of things in this movie to keep you watching, like terribly delivered lines, horrible acting, barely any continuity, and of course blatantly stolen scenes from other movies. I'm not kidding about the last part, most of the scenes that they steal are from the Lord of the Rings trilogy. I cant actually believe that this movie made 1 million over their budget at the theaters. I am going to have to give this craptastic film 1/10 for being mildly funny but not scary whatsoever.

See it with friends

Sid


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Ju-On (2000) - Takashi Shimizu

Watching Japanese horror is similar to watching British comedy. If you enjoy dry whit then you probably enjoy the boys of Monty Python in drag. That's the joke, they're dressed like women. Get it? Well, that's British humor. But if you're like most Americans you probably prefer Adam Sandler farting his way across a football field and hooking up with chicks that are way out of his league. Americans usually prefer this more in your face, crass brand of humor. My point is funny in England is different from funny in the US. The same goes for J-Horror. What the Japanese consider scary is very different from what Americans consider scary and it shows in this horror film. Japanese horror is generally slow (a little too slow sometimes), suspenseful and creepy. Ju-On is a creepy effing film. The movie has almost no soundtrack. It is incredibly suspenseful and the pay-offs are pretty awesome, but I think that it was done better in the American version (cultural t...

Humanoids From the Deep (1980) - Barbara Peeters and Jimmy T. Murakami

This is your standard old drive-in Creature Feature that has tons of gore and boobs. It's great if your in for a cheap thrill. This film goes right up along side any Roger Corman produced picture from the eighties. It's rumored that Joe Dante was approached to direct this movie but he turned it down. Humanoids from the Deep, also known as Monster, is a strange but forgettable piece of exploitation that failed to make it's notch in history. Don't let that detour you though. This is a really fun little film that doesn't fail to be entertaining.  A small sea town in California is terrorized by some mutated creatures from the deep. They look like some sort of mutated fish, merman-thing. They seem to have one goal in mind and that is raping and impregnating the females of the town. Also the town is being taken for a ride by a shifty businessman and his new corporate cannery. Could this evil cannery corporation be responsible for the Extreme Creatures of the B...

Escape From Tomorrow (2013) - Randy Moore

This review may contain spoilers. An American independent horror movie from filmmaker Randy Moore. It stars Roy Abramsohn, Elena Schuber, Katelynn Rodriguez, Jack Dalton, Annet Mahendru, and Alison Lees-Taylor. It premiered at the official selection of Roger Ebert, at the Sundance Film Festival on January 18th, 2013. Synopsis Jim is a depressed middle-aged man that despises his family life but wants to try to hold it together for a vacation to the Walt Disney World Resort. Jim receives a call before they leave and, unfortunately, Jim has lost his job as well. It proves too much to handle as this trip to the Magic Kingdom becomes a hellish nightmare. Jim’s mind cracks as we watch him deal with Disney’s seedy underbelly. Complete with elaborate corporate conspiracy, undercover sex workers, and demons. Oh and two very young French girls that Jim lusts over. It’s gross. Analysis The acting is amateurish. It’s nothing that’s going to win any awards or anything. The wri...