Skip to main content

Lost Paradise (1990) - Masami Akita



This was the worst thing I have ever seen. I have seen some really crappy movies and this one really takes the cake. Disgusting, disturbing, and just unnecessary. Lost Paradise or Shitsurauen: Jobafuku onna harakiri is a Japanese Seppuku film. It has no plot and no storyline. It's basically just a thirty minuet snuff film. It's just horrible. Most of the time is just watching a girl commit suicide by seppuku for eighteen minuets.

It is "directed" by some Japanese noise musician that supplied the soundtrack for this abortion of a movie. He should stick to making noise and leave this crap to someone else. Nothing about it is memorable or redeeming. It is a failure in film-making and should be shunned from society as being the foul grool that it is.

Perhaps they have a fetish for this sort of thing in Japan. Then this is just some weird extreme pornography or something and has no place among the horror films. I am going to keep this movie on the site though so that I can have a benchmark of when horror movies hit rock bottom. This is 0. The worst of the worst. If you just can't stay away from it you can find this film through various traders and according to Rotten Tomatoes this is available in a 5 hour 3 disk set featuring more of this crap. In the words of comic book guy.

Director: Masami Akita


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Ju-On (2000) - Takashi Shimizu

Watching Japanese horror is similar to watching British comedy. If you enjoy dry whit then you probably enjoy the boys of Monty Python in drag. That's the joke, they're dressed like women. Get it? Well, that's British humor. But if you're like most Americans you probably prefer Adam Sandler farting his way across a football field and hooking up with chicks that are way out of his league. Americans usually prefer this more in your face, crass brand of humor. My point is funny in England is different from funny in the US. The same goes for J-Horror. What the Japanese consider scary is very different from what Americans consider scary and it shows in this horror film. Japanese horror is generally slow (a little too slow sometimes), suspenseful and creepy. Ju-On is a creepy effing film. The movie has almost no soundtrack. It is incredibly suspenseful and the pay-offs are pretty awesome, but I think that it was done better in the American version (cultural t...

Sleepy Hollow (1999) - Tim Burton

Tim Burton's take on the old Sleepy Hollow tale is really interesting. He adds his own flair of course. He delves very deeply into the original story by Washington Irving. The casting is usual for Burton. Johnny Depp of course in your lead. Helena Bonham Carter, thrown in for some flavor. The score is done by Danny Elfman. It's literally just the Ichabod Crane story run through the Tim Burton machine. But in a good way. Sleepy Hollow has a problem with a guy, running around, taking people's heads. Like, a lot of people. The town sends word for assistance and the nervous  Constable Ichabod Crane reports. He starts to unravel clues that take him down an incredibly strange path. With the Horseman still murdering patrons, Crane tries finding who's next before they lose their head.  I've always been a big fan of the Disney cartoon,  The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad . This movie is a far cry from Bing Crosby and quaint animations....

Le Manoir du Diable (1896) - George Melies

According to Wikipedia in August of 2011, Le Manoir du diable by Georges Melies is the first horror movie. Well, actually its a short film (about three minuets or so) but film was really hard to come by in that time so this counts as a film to me. The plot of the film is basic, you have your hero being tormented by demonic things in a crazy castle room... However, that plot isn't what brought the crowds. The thing that drove the popularity of these films was the fact that you were seeing motion on screen. I suggest going and seeing Hugo. That film is spectacular. It answered so many questions that I had. It really sets the scene and the tone. The film has strong christian overtones and actually ends with Christianity prevailing over the "tides of darkness". I provided a link at the bottom of this review for anyone that would like to see this pioneer in Horror Film. The movie uses very, very early "movie magic" that is an abundance of smoke and m...