Terror Firmer (1999) - Lloyd Kaufman

So Lloyd Kaufman makes some of the trashiest movies, and he has been doing so for 30 plus years. From Toxic Avenger to this movie Terror Firmer, Lloyd has never altered his approach to making films. He even has a book All I Need To Know about Filmmaking I Learned from the Toxic Avenger. So what is so special about this movie? This movie seems to be the culmination of his life's work.

The movie is loosely based on the before mentioned book. The movie is about a gender confused killer that is wreaking havoc on a movie that is in production by a blind director, played by Lloyd Kaufman himself. I believe that the movie pays homage to many films that Kaufman and Troma put out to this point. The movie is a Trash film, a Z-Movie if you will. It looks like the budget was no more than 5 bucks. That is the beauty of the movie, that is what makes this movie what it is.

This movie is low budget, and by low budget I mean $500,000. That is low, really low. The movie is gory & disgusting. There are multiple killings in the movie that are really pretty awesome, and creative. One that comes to mind has to do with an escalator. The movie is also just filled with sex. This movie is one penis away from just being a gory horror porn.

I would recommend this movie to anyone who just smoked a fat one and wanted to chill out with some friends and laugh. I am going to give this movie a 2 of 10, it made me laugh and it was really pretty creative, but the movie is too low budget. The movie loses itself a lot, and you forget where your going. This is not the best Troma movie. This is no Toxic Avenger, or Sgt. Kabuki Man N.Y.P.D. this movie really stands on its own.

Trash-plotation

S!D

A Tribute to all Troma Films
Features the Toxic Avenger

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The Human Monster (1939) - Walter Summers

Bela Lugosi turns in a fantastic performance. It is right on par with the exact same films that had made him famous like Dracula . My personal favorite being The Black Cat . Like the latter, this film suffered from poor circulation and lack of advertisement. Either that or the public wasn't interested in seeing Lugosi in anything else other than his famous bloodsucker. This film has a broad and well acted plot that was rich with detail. Lugosi has two sides in this picture. His well loved and compassionate side. The other is a strict, brutal lone shark that acts as a sinister villain to blind and handicapped people. He really brutalizes his victims. It's a macabre message to pay your bills. The film is slow moving and plagued by the usual setbacks from its time. Most of the nation wasn't really that concerned with horror at the time. But studios knew that they would always have an audience. This film is a prime example of that. It's sad because it's

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Ju-On (2000) - Takashi Shimizu

Watching Japanese horror is similar to watching British comedy. If you enjoy dry whit then you probably enjoy the boys of Monty Python in drag. That's the joke, they're dressed like women. Get it? Well, that's British humor. But if you're like most Americans you probably prefer Adam Sandler farting his way across a football field and hooking up with chicks that are way out of his league. Americans usually prefer this more in your face, crass brand of humor. My point is funny in England is different from funny in the US. The same goes for J-Horror. What the Japanese consider scary is very different from what Americans consider scary and it shows in this horror film. Japanese horror is generally slow (a little too slow sometimes), suspenseful and creepy. Ju-On is a creepy effing film. The movie has almost no soundtrack. It is incredibly suspenseful and the pay-offs are pretty awesome, but I think that it was done better in the American version (cultural t

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Inseminoid (1981) - Norman J. Warren

What can be said for mindless schlock pictures like this one. They were pumped out in droves during the eighties. Inseminoid !? give me a break! It sounds like some pre-pubescent teenage boys came up with the title. On the plus side the movie isn't horrible to look at and it has a decent amount of gore. If you can separate yourself from the political incorrectness, then you might have a perfectly decent Sci-Fi Monster Feature. A research team exploring caves on Jupiter accidentally awakens an ancient alien that rapes and impregnates one of the team members. She suffers from terrible shock and trauma, leading to a complete mental breakdown as her pregnancy accelerates faster and faster. Feeling threatened she decides to kill anyone she deems a threat. Can the rest of the research team survive or will they all become victims of INSEMINOID! Apparently this movie had a million dollar budget. That's really shocking considering the outcome of the picture. The acting

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