The Curse (1987) - David Keith

Wil Wheaton is a terrible actor, well not terrible but not good. The Curse from 1987 is a good example of his acting chops. Here we have a redneck farming family who have a strange asteroid or egg or something crash land in their crops. Wil Wheaton plays a farmboy who's "loose" mother sleeps around with the help and a stepfather who is a backwoods country christian bible thumper. I see this movie as being inspiration to Eli Roth for his picture "Cabin Fever" where almost the exact same storyline happens.

Asteroid crashes and oozes out some weird stuff that gets into the water supply for this small farm. The inhabitants of the farm eat the food that was nourished by this tainted water and drink it as well transforming themselves into walking melting candles with super strength. Wil Wheaton is too smart for this trickery though and spends the entire hour and a half fighting off the Zombified versions of his Hick Stepfather and Fat Pig of a Step Brother.

The acting is horrible and the campiness of the film is really its only saving grace. It really doesn't show me anything that I would like to tell you about here. I suppose you could go on for the rest of your life and not ever see this, you would be pretty happy. From me The Curse gets a 3 out of 10.

Watch out them tomatoes spit blood!

Sid

Comments

The Human Monster (1939) - Walter Summers

Bela Lugosi turns in a fantastic performance. It is right on par with the exact same films that had made him famous like Dracula . My personal favorite being The Black Cat . Like the latter, this film suffered from poor circulation and lack of advertisement. Either that or the public wasn't interested in seeing Lugosi in anything else other than his famous bloodsucker. This film has a broad and well acted plot that was rich with detail. Lugosi has two sides in this picture. His well loved and compassionate side. The other is a strict, brutal lone shark that acts as a sinister villain to blind and handicapped people. He really brutalizes his victims. It's a macabre message to pay your bills. The film is slow moving and plagued by the usual setbacks from its time. Most of the nation wasn't really that concerned with horror at the time. But studios knew that they would always have an audience. This film is a prime example of that. It's sad because it's

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Ju-On (2000) - Takashi Shimizu

Watching Japanese horror is similar to watching British comedy. If you enjoy dry whit then you probably enjoy the boys of Monty Python in drag. That's the joke, they're dressed like women. Get it? Well, that's British humor. But if you're like most Americans you probably prefer Adam Sandler farting his way across a football field and hooking up with chicks that are way out of his league. Americans usually prefer this more in your face, crass brand of humor. My point is funny in England is different from funny in the US. The same goes for J-Horror. What the Japanese consider scary is very different from what Americans consider scary and it shows in this horror film. Japanese horror is generally slow (a little too slow sometimes), suspenseful and creepy. Ju-On is a creepy effing film. The movie has almost no soundtrack. It is incredibly suspenseful and the pay-offs are pretty awesome, but I think that it was done better in the American version (cultural t

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Inseminoid (1981) - Norman J. Warren

What can be said for mindless schlock pictures like this one. They were pumped out in droves during the eighties. Inseminoid !? give me a break! It sounds like some pre-pubescent teenage boys came up with the title. On the plus side the movie isn't horrible to look at and it has a decent amount of gore. If you can separate yourself from the political incorrectness, then you might have a perfectly decent Sci-Fi Monster Feature. A research team exploring caves on Jupiter accidentally awakens an ancient alien that rapes and impregnates one of the team members. She suffers from terrible shock and trauma, leading to a complete mental breakdown as her pregnancy accelerates faster and faster. Feeling threatened she decides to kill anyone she deems a threat. Can the rest of the research team survive or will they all become victims of INSEMINOID! Apparently this movie had a million dollar budget. That's really shocking considering the outcome of the picture. The acting

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