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Showing posts from October, 2009

Hellraiser (1987) - Clive Barker

Clive Barker is a horror genius, from his books to his films. He is one of the greatest minds in horror history. That being said we are going to be looking at one of his most well told tales, Hellraiser . This story is based off of his book The Hellbound Heart . This movie was my earliest delve into the horror genre. I remember staying with my dad and watching this movie late at night from the hallway in secret. It scared the shit out of me. I couldn't sleep, every time I closed my eyes I could see chains coming out of my walls tearing me apart. Yeah, this movie has scenes that stay in your memory. At least my own.  A family moves into a relatives home after he goes missing. It doesn't take long for the family to figure out what has happened to the former occupant. Kirsty, the teenage girl of the family, figures out that her uncle Frank had been sleeping with her father's wife. She decides to investigate and she finds herself tied up in a terror-iffic tale of adu

Re-Animator (1985) - Stuart Gordon

I am a sucker for any H.P. Lovecraft film and this is one of the best, Re-Animator! Here we have a mad scientist, the undead, and a little gore action. I mean there's a reason why this is considered one of the greatest cult horror films of all time. Really cool effects and a pretty solid storyline, deliver a really great horror film and what i consider to be one of the top scary movies of all time. Dr. Herbert West, played by Jeffrey Combs , is a student who is kicked out of his studies from Switzerland. He is accepted to a University in New England, and starts turning his room mates basement into a laboratory so that he can study his Dead Re-Animation formula. Problems arise when West's room mate's girlfriend's cat goes missing, only to be discovered dead and reanimated by West. From there we have evil scientists trying to steal formulas and perverted headless guys trying to cozy up to co-eds. This is really one of the greatest horror movies of all

House of the Dead (2003) - Uwe Boll

Uwe Boll is the new Ed Wood, he has to be. No one has any idea how this guy keeps making movies, but he troops on. Pumping out crap fests like Alone in the Dark, Dungeon Siege , and of course House of the Dead. The latter is what we just watched and i am going to have to say, I loved it. This really is a terrible movie, but its great to invite a few friends over and really have fun drinking and making fun of it, ala mst 3k. The film is a Zombie horror movie starring a bunch of nobodies and Erica Durance , who would later go on to play Lois Lane in Smallville . What we have here is a bunch of 20 somethings that are on their way to a rave on a remote island, they hire a seedy sea captain named Kirk, to transport them. When they get to the island however, well, i cant ruin it for you but let me tell you... its hilarious. So there are a ton of things in this movie to keep you watching, like terribly delivered lines, horrible acting, barely any continuity, and of course blatan

Zombi 2 (1979) - Lucio Fulci

I actually liked Zombi 2, or as I came to know it Zombie Flesh Eaters. For some reason this is considered by many to be the sequel to George Romero's 1978 classic, Dawn of the Dead. I really don't see any link what so ever between the Romero movie and the Fulci gore fest, except of course for the Zombies. From what I've come to learn about Zombies is that their are really a bunch of different versions of them. You have your regular, run of the mill, no explanation Zombies. You have your Virus ridden running Zombies, and like with this one you have your reanimated Voodoo Zombies. There are some really good scenes of gore in this film if that is what you are really looking for. Example being a woman slowly getting her eyeball pierced by a plank of wood. Also we get to see something of a rarity in the Undead world, a Zombie vs. a Shark. There are plenty of corny antics though to fill the entire hour and a half, like terrible dubbing, horrid acting, and a spotty storyline.

The Crazies (1973) - George Romero

George Romero is mostly known for his Zombie films. In Night of the Living Dead he gives us a good look at how something like the dead rising from their graves, impacts a really small group of people. The benefit here is that you are given a good dose of character development. He doesn't sway on the formula for this movie either. Zombies and all. The Crazies is about a small town in Pennsylvania that has been accidentally exposed to a biological weapon. People start acting like zombies and milling about killing one and other. That is when the government comes in to clean house. Now nobody is safe. Obviously made to work on the "Evil Government" deal, the movie succeeds in some places and drags on in others. It is a true so-so picture. George Romero really pushes this vision of a barbaric and totally destructive militaristic government. He portrays the military as mindless, ravaging, brutes with no regard for life. However, they are pretty scary. Just look at those

I Spit On Your Grave (1978) - Meir Zarchi

Revenge horror is sometimes the most satisfying of the horror genre. The movies get you going and rooting for the protagonist. This movie doesn't do that. It just leaves you with your mouth hanging open. This grind-house picture, that reminds me of Hostel for some reason, that pushes all sorts of boundaries. The best way to describe this genre would be Exploitation Horror. I Spit On Your Grave is a revenge horror movie about Jennifer Hills. A young girl that is gang raped by a group of locals while she is on vacation. She then goes on to hunt down each person that wronged her in this town and systematically takes each one of them out. With extreme prejudice. This movie goes everywhere that you would want it to go, and many places that you don't. It actually makes you feel uncomfortable. This isn't a movie to rent and watch with your girlfriend. This isn't for getting all cozy and sipping hot coco with your schnookums. If your watching this movie than you don&#

The Breed (2006) - Nick Mastandrea

Horror is crap, well most of it. Films like Darkness Falls and Dark Water. Its all a weird kind of family friendly horror. Then the Breed strolled onto my computer screen. This is a horrible concept, 20 somethings come to an abandoned island for a weekend of partying. Only to find that the entire island is overrun by mean dogs. Not Zombie dogs, not Werewolves, just dogs. The film has Michelle Rodriguez post her DUI problems. All in all Wes Craven is getting old and dropping the ball on most everything he touches. The antagonist in this movie really isn't very scary. Nothing that a baseball bat cant take care of, yet the actors really try to sell the fact that these K9's are terrifying. The Breed is a terrible movie that will make you run off with your tail between your legs.  

2LDK (2002) - Yukihiko Tsutsumi

2LDK (aka. 2 Bedroom, Living Room, Dining Room, and Kitchen) is a strange suspenseful horror movie from Japan. The entire thing only features two characters and takes place in the span of one week. The movie features two young actresses that both get an apartment together and learn that each one is being considered for the same role. This infuriates the two women and they end up battling for seventy minuets. Not just fight but they literally beat the living shit out of each other with various items thorough out the house. They use various items in the house including a chainsaw to attack each other. This is it. This is the entire plot of the film. Jealousy spawns physical battle. Its pretty basic. The entire thing is filmed in one location. They don't vary from this recipe and I believe that it actually hurts the film. I respect what they are going for here, but other than it being a pretty interesting idea the movie falls flat. Find another J-Horror movie S!D Fil

The Blood On Satan's Claw (1970) - Piers Haggard

Blood on Satan's Claw is a film based in the 17th Century, following a group of Devil worshiping youths. It is low budget and has a few plot holes, but it still has a certain charm. I enjoyed watching this movie even though i really don't like watching pieces about this time period. The movie goes like this, Teenagers are invoking the dark lord and various people around the village are slowly turning into demons. Pretty basic i know, the movie was made in the seventies and the teenagers in the film tend to act more like kids from that year than the year that they are actually supposed to be playing. The antagonist is played by Linda Hayden, who does a pretty good job being the creepy, wild, and crazy satanist chick. The hero is very unlikely and, I like this, is actually the very conservative "Judge" played by veteran actor Patrick Wymark. If you want to see blood and guts this isn't the movie for that, and you only really get to see the monster in this mo

Lost Paradise (1990) - Masami Akita

This was the worst thing I have ever seen. I have seen some really crappy movies and this one really takes the cake. Disgusting, disturbing, and just unnecessary. Lost Paradise or Shitsurauen: Jobafuku onna harakiri is a Japanese Seppuku film. It has no plot and no storyline. It's basically just a thirty minuet snuff film. It's just horrible. Most of the time is just watching a girl commit suicide by seppuku for eighteen minuets. It is "directed" by some Japanese noise musician that supplied the soundtrack for this abortion of a movie. He should stick to making noise and leave this crap to someone else. Nothing about it is memorable or redeeming. It is a failure in film-making and should be shunned from society as being the foul grool that it is. Perhaps they have a fetish for this sort of thing in Japan. Then this is just some weird extreme pornography or something and has no place among the horror films. I am going to keep this movie on the site thou

Night of the Living Dead (1968) - George Romero

Here it is children, the grand-daddy of the zombie apocalypse. George Romero's 1968, classic, groundbreaking film; Night of the Living Dead. This is the movie that starts the whole fucking thing. This is the movie that starts everything. I am pretty sure that you can just about credit 99% of modern horror to this movie. The movie follows Ben Huss, Barbara, and five other people that become trapped in a farmhouse during the zombie apocalypse. The plot seems simple enough, however this one simple plot has spawned a slew of other movies that rely on it as the starting point of the un-dead end. Of course we are talking here about Dawn, Day, City, Diary, and even the Return franchise. This one singular film can be seen, at least in part, in all of these movies. The casting is impeccable. Ben Huss takes the reigns as your lead character once Barbara falls into a catatonic state. This is a ballsy move since Ben Huss is African American. In 1968 it was almost unheard of for a

& Teller (2008) - Frank Ippolito

& Teller and & Teller 2, are shorts created by Teller from the popular comedy/magic duo Penn & Teller. The film(s) are a video diary of Teller surviving a Zombie attack in Las Vegas. It is narrated by Teller, who keeping true with tradition, doesn't actually talk on camera. I think that for a short of this length it is very creative. They fill a short amount of time here with a great little story. The art department deserves a gold star for this one. The story is pretty good as well. A little comedy mixed with some ok looking, slow moving, Zombies. The story kind of feels like this is an off shoot of the great Zombie novel, World War Z, by Max Brooks. In fact if they do a World War Z movie this should really be in there somewhere, maybe some viral marketing for the film. I dunno, but Teller does a great job, very good effort and i hope to see more of these in the near future. There will be more reviews hopefully tonight/morning.